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A Nephew’s Advice for New Fathers

  • Be nice to the baby
  • Only gentle tickles
  • Wake up early so Auntie doesn’t know I give the baby candy or ice cream
  • Don’t let the baby go on a boat until old enough. 4 or 5?
  • Don’t let the baby play basketball until 10 or 11 years old. Unless there’s a lower basketball hoop.
  • No slam dunks until 11 years old.

Age 6, and already thinking through mutually exclusive and collectively exhaustive. Kid’s got a future.

(As excellent advice 5 years ago, as it is today)

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